people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
this just has baby written all over it
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
