OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
