She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
