I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
