Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
