Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
farters have to be the big spoon...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
