make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
