You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
