I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
