He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
