I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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