I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
