it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
