You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
