I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
