Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
