dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
