you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
