Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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