This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
