Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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