I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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