I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We talked him into tasing himself.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
