The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's never too late to be topless.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
