it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
