so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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