I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
