my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize