tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
