Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
