Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Boobs speak an international language.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
