Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
