he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
