he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
did i walk over a car last night?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
