I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
