Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
