it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
