i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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