After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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