The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
