That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
