I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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