Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
