there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
