I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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