my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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