please come you make the beer taste better
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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