I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
