are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
