I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
