I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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